


Falling for Captain America and the Winter Soldier

by VioletBarnes



Series: Avengers and Loki Love Interests [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 1940s, Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Aunt Natasha Romanov, But mostly fluff, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Has a name, Hurt/Comfort, Laura is clint's sister, Multi, Named Reader, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Polyamory, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Reader-Insert, Sexy Times, after that all fluff, mentions of sexy times, not his wife, only one chapter of angst, will have to see how well that future chapter writing goes...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2018-09-22 15:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9614801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletBarnes/pseuds/VioletBarnes
Summary: You had known Bucky and Steve since you had moved next door. You were their best friend. Weak, unable to walk without your crutches, you were teased, but Steve was always there to defend you with Bucky there to pull him out of whatever fight he got into. You had fallen for both boys. How could you not? Bucky not only was kind, his looks and charm could and had gotten him many a girl. And under Steve's sickly form beat a heart of gold. Yet it was not their looks or charms that did me in, but their character. But you had never told them, not wanting them to feel bad about letting you down easy then things getting weird between you three. They had only ever seen you as a sister. After they had signed up to fight the war you had managed to get the spot of the girl version of Steve's place. But would you ever see them again after they fall? And if you did whatever would you say? After joining Peggy fighting the war under Howard's assistance you were doing your part until you get captured by HYDRA and being tortured. You are rescued but the plane goes down with no survivors. Or are there? What happens when you wake up and 70 years has passed? When your boys have teamed up with a new group of heroes to save the world?





	1. The Boys in the 1940s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last night with my boys before the war would send Bucky off to fight. Before we all joined to fight, and to die our own deaths To one day rise stronger, broken but stronger for it. Able to fight the enemy on our terms, for all the pain they put us through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now beta'd by brighterlights. Now edited as of 11/19/2017.

**1942**

 

"Stop, don't!" I said as I watched the bully raise his fist to hit Steve for the fifth time.

"Yeah, and who's gonna stop me?" he asked.

For an answer, Steve dove for his legs while I hit him with my crutch. Bucky turned the corner just as the bully started to stand up. Bucky grabbed him by the collar, hauled him to his feet, and tossed him away from us. So, the boy swung at Bucky who leaned back, punched him, then booted him out of the alley.

"Bucky!" I squealed as he swaggered over to me.

“Sometimes I think you like getting punched.” Bucky said to Steve.

“I had him on the ropes.” he replied as he stood up, wiping the blood from his mouth.

"How many times is this? So, you’re from Paramus now. You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. Seriously, Jersey.” Bucky asked looking down at Steve's latest rejected enlistment card which he had retrieved from the ground where it had fallen in the fight. “So, Violet, I see you and Steve managed to find another fight while I was gone. What'd the numbskull do this time?" Bucky asked.

"He was bad mouthing the armed forces during the newsreels. When I told him to shut up, he insulted Violet." Steve said.

"So you punched him?" Bucky asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I asked him to apologize, he wouldn't and he insulted her again. Then he said no one was going to stop him." Steve said still not looking up as he continued to brush invisible dirt off.

"Then Steve punched him." I piped up from where I was standing next to Steve. "I didn't want Steve to get hurt so I hit him."

"You get your orders?" Steve asked changing the subject when he finally looked up at Bucky.

"The 1077th, Sargeant James Barnes shipping out for England first thing tomorrow." Bucky said tilting his head back to peer at us from beneath his campaign hat.

"I should be going." Steve said quietly as he brushed off his sleeves again.

"Good for you. Teach those nasty ole Nazis a lesson." I said, watching Steve out of the corner of my eye.

"Come on, our last night." Bucky said as he swung his arm around Steve to point him toward the alley’s entrance. ”Got to get you cleaned up," Bucky said, removing his arm to let Steve help me, and to throw away the rejected enlistment card before handing Steve the newspaper with the world expo advert.

"Why? Where are we going?" Steve asked.

"The future." Bucky replied.

"Oooh, cool, let's go!" I said.

I’ve known these boys since I was three when my grandmother moved next door to them. With relations with Russia such bad business, my grandmother wanted me to become more American so I fit in better. I have been practically adopted by Mrs. Barnes and Mrs. Rogers. My parents left when I was 2, they took me in, when my Grandmother was getting on in years. So I grew up with the boys, they became like my brothers. I was malnourished like Steve so my legs were weak, making me unable to walk well without the crutches the boys had made me out of spare wood.

As we walked to picked up the two girls Bucky had gotten to be Steve’s and his double dates, Bucky said, “I don’t see the problem here. You’re about to be the last eligible men in all of New York. You know there are three and a half million women here.”

“Well, I’d settle for just one.” Steve replied.

“Good thing I took care of that.” Bucky said smiling as he waved at the girls, one of which shouted his name.

“What’d you tell her about me?” Steve asked, combing his fingers in his hair so it fell out of his eyes.

“Only the good stuff.” Bucky reassured.

When we got closer, and they saw me one of them asked, "Who's the girl?"

"What girl?" Bucky asked looking over his shoulder at me where she had been pointing, "Oh, that's just Violet, our best friend. She goes everywhere with us."

The girls looked askance at that but nothing more was said on the matter.

Steve hung back to make sure I kept up, as the boys went on their double date. We were at the world expo looking at Howard Stark's new flying car. Steve tried to offer his popcorn to his date, but she just looked at the popcorn then at Steve like they were beneath her. I hated that she brushed him off so easily, when he was supposed to be her date. The car fell, distracting Bucky and the girls just as Steve got distracted himself by the recruitment posters and wandered off to that center. I followed him. We were looking at the soldier posters, when Bucky came up to Steve and clapped him on the shoulder and said "Come on you're kinda missing the important part of a double date. We're about to take the girls dancing."

"You go ahead, we'll catch up with you." Steve said.

"You really gonna do this again?" Bucky asked.

"Well, it's a fair, I'm gonna try my luck."

"As who? Steve from Ohio? They'll catch you, worse they'll actually take you."

"Look I know you think I can't do this, but..."

"This isn't a back alley, Steve. This is war."

"I know it's a war. You don't have to tell me that."

"Why are you so eager to fight? There're so many important jobs."

"What am I gonna do? Go around collecting spare metal in my little red wagon?"

"Yes! I'm not... I don't..."

"I'm not gonna sit around in a factory, Bucky. Bucky! There are men lying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This isn't about me." Steve said.

"Right, 'cause you got nothing to prove." Bucky said disbelievingly.

"Hey Sarge! Are we going dancing?" one of the girls called.

"Yes we are!" Bucky called back.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Bucky said shaking his head and backing away from Steve.

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Steve called after him.

"You're a punk." Bucky said as he came back and wrapped Steve in a big hug.

"Jerk." Steve said.

"Careful." Bucky said quietly. "Don't forget to watch out for each other, and try not to get into so many fights while I'm gone. I'll be back before you know it."

"Don't you worry, I'll keep a close eye on Violet. Can't have her getting lost or hurt on my watch." Steve said.

"I know you will." Bucky said.

"Ugh, I can still stand up for myself!" I said.

"Yes, and we saw how well that went." Bucky said.

"Rude." I said, halfheartedly, just wanting to stick up for myself. "Fine." I grumbled.

"You'll be fine." Steve said, then called to Bucky, "Don't win the war 'til I get there."

Bucky saluted him.

I stayed silent throughout, this was a familiar enough argument between my boys. Nothing I could say would change either of their minds. I could only try to cheer them up when things got too serious, by playing a cheerful little girl.

"Come on girls, they're playing our song." Bucky said to the other girls as he put his arms around them, and they walked off to the dance hall.

"Don't worry, Stevie. Something's just gotta break soon." I said, as Steve and I walked away to the enlistment center. Steve walked in and I stood outside since girls weren't allowed in. I had done so when I could get off work, and Steve had done his best to take me with him, since I never wanted him to be alone when he got the news either way. Steve indulged me, no matter how much it should have hurt his pride to do so. Peggy came around the corner as I waited and ran into me as I hadn't seen her until then.

"Oh, hey, Peggy! Here for the fair? You haven't heard from my brother Michael, have you?" I asked.

"Yeah, thought I would check it out. No, not recently, must be busy. What are you doing here?" Peggy asked, having not heard from her fiance recently even though they had seen each other just after he had been drafted. They had had a fight about her work in the S.S.R. and had unofficially broken off the engagement until one of them changed their mind. Unfortunately, Michael was killed before he was able to ever contact her again. We weren't to know till later that he had already died by the time we had met again at the expo.

"Oh, I was just waiting on my friend Steve Rogers, wanted to see if he got in yet." I said.

Peggy had already given Dr. Erskine Steve's file, so she said "You had told me about him. Hey, if you want to help the war effort with more than the usual home front things, I just might have a job perfect for you."

"Well, I don't know. Steve and Bucky don't want me to get into anymore trouble... But if I could really help? Then yeah." I said.

"Good. Why don't you come and see if it'll work out." Peggy said. "It's this scientific program originally designed for super soldiers, but the head scientist wants a female and a male as the first two people to try it. What do you say, want to help?"

"Okay, I'll come, just let me see about Steve first. He's expecting me to wait for him." I said.

"See you soon." Peggy said as she walked off.

I got to see Steve's new recruitment card with the 1A stamped on it, proving that he got in. I was so happy for Steve I hugged him. "See, what I'd tell you about something breaking soon!" I exclaimed. He was worried about me, but I told him not to be. Later, we would both be shipped off to boot camp, his the usual, while I was training with Peggy, since the female program was top secret. I had been put undercover as Peggy's assistant, so I had a valid excuse for being there. Having to hide from Steve was not as hard as it would seem to be, since my new look was a lot more dressed up than I had ever had been before, and I just tried to never be too close to wherever he was at anytime. The next few years were the hardest I had ever lived through. Little was I to know just how bad it was going to get before it ever got better.


	2. Coming Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you come back from the dead? How will your best friend react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original second chapter has been deleted since I never meant to post it at all, just wanted a place to put future flashbacks. Keep an eye out for what you remember to show up in later chapters. ;) Please comment, and give kudos! I live for them, without them I don't know if you are enjoying this or not! Now beta'd by brighterlights.

**2014**

I walked into Nick's office where the Avengers are holding a debriefing. I walked in on my crutches as part of my training. "Nick, Peggy called and was asking..." I trailed off seeing all the Avengers sitting around the room staring at me in full 1940's dress. "Oh, that kind of busy. Ignore me, continue on." Nick was standing in front of his desk speaking. So, I walked around his desk and sat in his chair to continue working on my Starkpad, a piece of technology I was quite happy to have found and mastered. Nick called for me to come and meet the Avengers to join them and become their handler. Nick, of course, hadn't told them or me of that. As co-director, I did not have to obey him. I just did so to keep up appearances. After they have been debriefed, Nick sprung his plan on them. There wasn't really any other way to describe it.

I was the first to speak up, "Now Nicky, just because I'm here for the relations side of things does not mean you can just spring things like this on people, plus with Coulson alive they already have a handler. You should have asked me first, I am in charge here as well, something you seem to conveniently forget." Then turning to the table of Avengers, I said, "Agent Barnes, co-director of SHIELD. Peggy signed the paperwork and didn't tell me till after she had filed it. Her way of bullying me into it. Also known as Agent Grant, normal SHIELD agent with a suspiciously high clearance. Nice to meet you. Sorry it could not be under better circumstances. Hello Stevie." I finished, suddenly shy.

All through my little speech, Steve had been slowly walking over to me. "Violet, you're alive?" He asked as he hugged me. He had been too shocked to say anything before now. "How are you alive?"

"Turns out Dr. Erskine wanted a female subject to test the serum on as well. And I got the lucky position. I love your hugs, but there are other people in the room. Introduce me."

"Okay." He reluctantly let go but kept one arm around my shoulders. "Tony Stark."

"Pleased to meet you, glad to see you survived having Howie as your dad. I called him that simply because it annoyed him."

"I like you, you're moving into Stark Tower, I mean Avengers Tower. " Tony said.

"Thank you, and sure. Would today work?"

"Yes, I'll just have Pepper make you a keycard."

"I'll help you pack and carry your things over." Steve blurted.

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that."

"Oh, and this is Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Dr. Bruce Banner, and Thor." Steve introduced, pointing to each person in turn.

"Thank you. Glad to meet everyone, hope we can work well in the future. Steve, can you grab my keycard from Pepper? She also might have a file for me, could you pick that up too. My things should all be packed and ready to pick up. Thanks, sweetie. I'll see everyone later at the Tower." I smiled them out the door as Nick dismissed them. I had already set all this up, having been in contact with Pepper since Nick had handed me the Avenger's files, and said I was joining them. I also had had an agent I trusted pack my things, not that there was much to pack with only a month having passed since I had come to SHIELD. Time which I spent "catching up" on all the SHIELD business I have missed being gone, as well as training and the hospitalization for my wounds at Hydra's hands. Steve peered around the door as it closed and I turned to Nick and asked, " Can we talk?" as I tapped my ear.

"Yes." Nick replied, the door now shut and locked.

"Good. You know they're here, right?" I asked, meaning Hydra

"Yes. They've been here since Peggy left. Still need a way to completely weed them out. You up for the job? Assemble your team, and the job's yours."

"On it." I said, leaving the room.


	3. Winter Soldier Sighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winter Soldier has been sighted! What happens when the Avengers find out about what happened in your past? Might not be your big secret, but it's one step closer! Spoilers for Winter Soldier, Avengers and my upcoming stories in this series. Boring introductory chapter, just a lead into the action that will be in the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me grammar and such problems! Not beta'd, or edited.

Natasha, Alice, Sjarmende, Jane, Darcy, and I with occasional appearances by Maria Hill and Pepper Potts were working on taking down Hydra by ourselves, just the six of us girls. We were set up in a back lab of Tony's in the Tower working through all the paper work S.H.I.E.L.D. had on, well, everything. Rooting Hydra out of our system and our company, the first place that had offered all of us a home, some for the first time. The other girls were shifting through piles of paperwork on the giant digital screens that were projected in front of us, holograms I think they're called. I helped, mostly by confirming Hydra agents from papers thrown my way, and sorting through what paperwork I could. Even Sjarmende, or Merry as she insisted we call her, who was still kinda new to Earth or Midgard as she called it, was doing better than I was, but in my defense it was a lot of difference from paperwork 70 years ago. We had already taken out the Strike and Insight crews and most of the other minions but unfortunately were still working on finding enough evidence to take down Alexander Pierce, personally I wanted to put a bullet in the man's head for all that he had done, but had been told that were trying to do this as legally as possible, Hydra bastards or no.

Let me back up, I asked Natasha if she wanted to take down the Nazi parasites that has infiltrated our home, and she said yes, and that we should hire Alice Merry and Maria and Pepper to help if they could. I agreed so we did. Alice was kinda hard to pry from the lab where she had been helping Tony with the latest design on his suit, making her perfect as his girlfriend. Then Merry we had to pry from Loki's side where she had been nursing Loki back to health after his breakdown after everything he had been through at the hands of the Chitauri with all the mind control and brainwashing with I could sympathize with. Then Maria and Pepper were more than happy to help when they had a moment free, while Jane was on Asgard and unable to help right now, making Darcy free to help as needed.

On missions and with the searching we were doing, had been able to find a source of Hydra info that was surprisingly uncorrupted. Then again I swear that Hydra had been running on pure arrogance this whole time, so maybe not so surprising then. This was how we found out that Alexander Pierce, who for some reason was the next in command after Nick and I, had put a hit out on Nick Fury and was going to use the Winter Soldier to do so. We put Nick in the loop, but otherwise nothing outwardly changed. At least, not yet.

"We need to inform the boys of this new development." I said, "And we'll need a second team for the plan to work." It was relatively simple, take down and bring in the Winter Soldier and take out, permanently, his handlers and Alexander Pierce. I would take out the Winter Soldier since I had the best chances of doing so, and the girls would take out the handlers, while the boys made sure nothing went wrong at HQ.

We gathered all the Avengers into the Tower in rec room, well, most of them. Steve had already met Sam on his morning runs, so we had one more guy to help us. But Loki was still recovering, and till then was still on probationary membership into the Avengers and would be watched by Darcy who he had started to bond with as they and Merry found things in common, especially with Darcy's Asgardian heritage. Thor and Jane were still on Asgard, but Bruce, Steve, Clint, Natasha, Alice, Tony, Merry, Sam, and I were free to help, with Maria, Pepper, and J.A.R.V.I.S. as intel back up. We had a likely ambush point on Nick's drive where we would set up our own ambush.

"We have a new mission coming up, a very important one involving the lives of a few of our friends." I announced as soon as everyone had assembled. (Ignore the unintentional pun.) "The Winter Soldier is going to assassinate Nick Fury, and we're going stop him." I outlined the plan, and waited for questions, I didn't have long to wait.

"The Winter Soldier?" Steve asked.

"A myth. The intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. The one's that do call him, the Winter Soldier. He's the most feared assassin Hydra has; he's credited with over 2 dozen assassinations in the last 50 years." Natasha said.

"So he's a ghost story." Steve said it like a question, but it was more of a statement.

"One of two. There's also a rumor that there's a second Winter soldier. A woman. Code name 'The Ghost' also known as 'Death in Heels', or simply 'Death.' She has never failed a mission, and few have seen her that remain alive. The most efficient assassin I've ever heard of. No one knows who she is." Natasha said.

"I'm 'The Ghost.'" I paused, looked up briefly, before casting my eyes down again, unable to look Steve in the eye as my past came out, unsure of his reaction. The others would also needed to know, but Natasha had already read my file. I continued, "You should know the full truth of what was going on while you were gone, Steve. Peggy was my brother's fiance. He died but Peggy and I got along well when we had met, so we kept in touch and remained friends. When you went to register and finally got in, Peggy came by the tent. She had been running errands near by, saw me, and came to catch up. It turned out that Dr. Erskine wanted a female as well as a male subject for the super soldier program. Peggy was his first choice, but she turned him down and recommended me. I got in. When you went off to boot camp, I went along with Peggy and got a boot camp of my own with her. I got sent back just before you did, and was given the serum privately. After that I was hired at the S.S.R. as Peggy's secretary. We ran missions together, and eventually founded our own company, S.H.I.E.L.D. The whole time, Howard was funding us, with Jarvis, the Stark's butler as our backup.

"About five years after you and Bucky went down, I was on what was supposed to be a simple intel gathering mission in a Hydra facility. I somehow ended up by the labs, so I peeked in a window. I saw Bucky. He was hurt and was being hurt more. I froze. It just long enough to get caught. When I was eventually rescued I was hurt, so I was being flown out to the hospital first, before reporting in. Apparently, Hydra thought my intel was too sensitive to get out so they shot down the plane. It crashed and there were no survivors, except for me. I was in a similar state to the one you were found in. Unfortunately, I was not found by S.H.I.E.L.D., but Hydra. They had found out how fast I healed with the serum, when they tortured me for information. So they kept me for their Winter Soldier program. The only other survivor of the serum was Bucky. His code name, is "The Asset.' We were brainwashed and tortured till we were little more than puppets for them to send out to kill. We fought back, and are still fighting. We've been fighting against the programming as much as we can, by taking orders literally,and killing as few people as we can, mostly. The Asset, Bucky, can be a brutal but quick killer. Where The Ghost is quick and efficient. My last mission for them, I was a little more aware than usual, and was able to run. I found S.H.I.E.L.D, and have been here since then. My only regret about running is not helping Bucky to escape as well.

"We have to save him. I can help. I know how to take him down safely without him or anyone else getting hurt." I pleaded with them, needing them to understand. I may not remember much of what happened before Hydra since I had just quoted my file, but I knew that. It was the one bit of help Hydra had granted me, the chance to save Bucky, before it was too late.

"Oh." Steve said, at a loss for words.

"Yeah, oh." I said dryly.

"Now that we have that covered, let's get this mission started." Natasha said, trying to get our minds moving forward again, knowing how it felt to have your past laid out there, knowing we needed to move forward. So we did, no more questions were asked, even though Steve wasn't a fan of me going to take him down by myself. The planning was conceded to me since I knew the enemy better than anyone else. Once the details had been worked out, we dispersed, ready for when the word came in. I could feel Steve's eyes on me, wanting to talk alone, but I had purposely walked out the room with Tasha, so he was momentarily, stymied.

One week later, we had word that Hydra was ready to make a move on Nick's next move. We were ready.


	4. Kidnapping the Winter Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The highway fight scene modified with the aftermath of kidnapping the Winter Soldier.

Bruce, Maria, Tony, and Clint were placed strategically watching over HQ, so Hydra couldn't take over. The rest of the teams moved into formation in the ambush plan with Nick Fury as bait. Natasha, Alice, and Sam were set up on the overpass which we chose as the best tactical advantage point on our route and where Hydra were most likely to strike. Merry drove the car following Nick with Steve in the passenger seat and me in the back. We had just started across the bridge when a black bulky jeep roared up from behind. Suddenly the Winter Soldier popped out of a hatch on top of it and leaped on our roof and started shooting through it. I climbed into Steve's lap, pulling Steve away from the bullets. Merry steered furiously to keep us from hitting anyone until Steve jerked the emergency brake. The car's sudden stop shot the Winter Soldier off the top of the car onto the highway in front of us. He tucked and rolled ending upright with his left metal hand dragging to slow himself down. His fingers made claws marks in the road as he came to a stop and slowly stood up, staring at us as we sat in the motionless vehicle with other cars veering around us. The Hydra armored Jeep roared up and rammed the back of us as we stared, shoving us toward the Winter Soldier who stood still waiting for us to come in range when he could and did jump back onto the roof of our car. We were speeding up as the Winter Soldier reached down and grabbed the steering wheel out of Merry's hand, then vaulted back onto the front of the Hydra Jeep, who bumped us forward again, this time with no way to steer.

"Hang on!" Steve shouted as he shoved the shield into the passenger car door snapping it off its hinges. Merry grabbed onto us and we rolled onto the shield and the car door. We landed on the highway as the car we had been riding in ran into a wall, causing it to fly into the air and flip down the highway. The Hydra Jeep came to a stop and the Hydra handlers climbed out of it and started to hand the Winter Soldier a grenade launcher when Natasha, Alice, and Sam showed up and took them down, leaving the Winter Soldier to me. Merry and the rest of the teams worked on moving civilians away to safety, as Steve and Natasha kept an out out for me in case I ran into trouble. I was wearing the same tactical gear I did as The Ghost, making it easier for the Winter Soldier to identify me as an old asset/handler.

"Stand down, soldier." I shouted at him in Russian. He stared at me. I continued to march toward him, settling into my old mindset, and remembering my new mission. He froze then lifted the small gun that had been on his back up to shoot me, but by this time I was close enough to kick it out of his hands. I kept my face blank as we fought. A combination of Black Widow and Captain America moves were thrown in with a spin I had put on them that was all my own. I threw him onto the ground and pinned him down, making sure to keep his arms and legs beneath me. He was almost defenseless, since I had already disarmed him except for him actual arm, and was able to keep him in place with my super strength. I could hear Steve yell, worried about his next move but I ignored him as I leaned down and whispered in his ear the code that would snap him out of the Winter Soldier mindset into the confused Bucky one.

"Violet?" He asked, so confused.

"Welcome back, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes." I said, rolling off him, before giving him a hand up. "We gotta move. Trust me, we're gonna get you somewhere safe." He followed me trustingly. Even though he was confused, he knew who I was and was willing to follow me to safety. I got him back to everyone just in time to see Alexander Pierce lift up a large gun in his hands to shoot Steve. I quickly lifted my own gun and shot him in the head, a clean shot with only the initial spurt of blood to give away what had happened. Seeing me raise my gun toward him, Steve looked up just as I shot the other guy. I didn't regret it knowing what I did of what he had done to Bucky, to us. At least this one I could claim defense of another.

Since our own car was useless, and Nick was fine driving his own car, we took Hydra's since they wouldn't be needing it. We got back to the Tower, where we set Bucky up in a reinforced room, since we weren't sure how much he remembered.

Once we got back to the rec room, I said, "Tomorrow, Bucky and I are going to Wakanda. We've been in touch the royalty there, and they've agreed to let their best doctors de-trigger us. We'll be back once we're safer to be around." I held my hand up to hold off any questions. "This is not a question, it has already been decided. Nick's gonna provide transport." Having already discussed this with Nick and Wakanda, I felt comfortable with this decision. Not only would we be de-triggered, but also no one would have to worry about what to do with us, since we were technically war criminals.

Wakanda was super welcoming despite the circumstances, and Prince T'challa let us stay there as long as we needed, even offering to let us stay after we were de-triggered if we weren't going to be accepted back home. We told them we would think about it, and ask if we would be allowed back, and thanked them for the opportunity, knowing the prince was dealing with his father's illness and approaching death as well.


	5. Wakanda and What Happens Next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would we be allowed back into the Tower to live with all the Hydra secrets coming out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-beta'ed, and unedited. Kudos and comments are life!! Is this is character? I hope so. I think they might be slightly more themselves pre-war/in war, then they had been when they first had come back, but are still healing and thus will being dealing with their PTSD, and the 70 years of being the two longest running POWs, as well as being under Hydra control for that long and all the shit that came out of that.

In Wakanda we were pretty busy and as such didn't have much time to talk, but we made time if we could and felt like it.

"Bucky, do you think we'll be allowed to live in the Tower?" I asked.

"Don't know if you don't ask." Bucky said.

"Yeah. Mind if I call now?"

Bucky shook his head, so I brought up Skype just like I had learned and called the Tower. "Hey." I said, when Tony Stark himself answered. "Hey, would you mind, terribly, if Bucky and I were to live at the Tower? I know that we are technically killers and with all that we did while under Hydra's thumb we know that you probably won't want us in your Tower, and we have been given a chance to stay here in Wakanda but it's not the same, and we'd like to live with Steve even with all the problems that will come up with that and we know Wakanda is super secure, but we'd love to live in New York even if we don't remember it. I mean, we also know that we shouldn't really get a choice because of all we've done, and it's really hard making decisions but this still would be really nice and we'd be so thankful if you'd let us live there, plus it's super secure and you could just use really strong locks or something if you didn't feel safe or something and..." I blurted faster and faster and trying not to wring my hands. Even with all my training this still too nerve-wracking not to react so strongly.

"Hey, hey, hey, slow down. I get it. You want to live in New York in the Tower with Steve nearby after everything. I know you two were just Hydra's puppets and are not responsible for your actions. You two can stay at the Tower, and this is not just because otherwise I'd be dealing with the kicked puppy that is Capsicle without you two here, he's already been so mopey so far. So yes, please come live at the Tower and save me from the kicked puppy look that Cap's so good at." Tony said.

"Thanks, Tony. That's really nice of you. See you after we leave Wakanda. Bye." I said.

"Bye." Tony said as he hung up.

"That went well." I said nervously as I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm sure Steve'll be happy to see. Not sure how much he'll want me around, since I'm just the pathetic little girl that followed you two around a Brooklyn and got into as much trouble as Steve did. I couldn't live without you two so much I literally followed you two to war. Hell, I probably begged Peggy to let me join so much she took pity on me and found me a job."

"No. Peggy wasn't like that, I don't remember much but she wouldn't have put up with that kind of bullshit and definitely wouldn't have given you a job out of pity. You are not that girl, never were. So just get that shit outta ya head." Bucky said, a little of his Brooklyn accent slipping in.

"Thank you, Bucky. I mean it." I said quietly. Each session of de-triggering let another bit ourselves creep in, memory by elusive memory, piece by slippery piece we were coming back, our accents and ourselves.

We stayed in Wakanda for another week, before we were declared fit to leave, and go back to the Tower, so we did. We were escorted by Natasha, Steve, and Clint. We managed to stay there three hours, with my mask of normality, before Bucky called me on my bullshit.

"Cut the crap." Bucky told me, after pulling me to a corner.

"What crap?" I asked with an innocent face.

"That crap. You're not normal, or fine, so stop pretending you are. You're as scared as I am, so stop acting like you're not. It's okay, actually, it's not, but if you're not comfortable enough to show fear how will I ever be able to know to trust these people? If you can calm down enough to trust then so can I. Please." Bucky said, speaking quietly, as he kept ahold of my arm to keep me near him. Knowing that helping him, would cause me to do whatever he asked of me. So I agreed by nodding, and let my mask fall. "Thank you." Bucky said letting go of my arm, nodding once, and stepping away from me.

Not wanting that, I stepped back into his personal space and dragged my hand down his arm to hold his hand, giving him a chance to pull away. We were going to work on making decisions instead of being passive, taking ourselves back. Bucky looked down at our clasped hands, but didn't let go, instead held me a little tighter. "Good." I said, before dragging him to the couch to sit down. I sat down with Bucky next to me, but was already restless with nervous energy, so I stood back up, and said "We're going training! They have to have one around here somewhere." I looked back at Bucky to get his consent before dragging him off to fight with me.

We found it with minimal hunting, after asking J.A.R.V.I.S where we should go. "Good, a flat surface to fight. Come! Let's go!" I said to Bucky.

"No! I'll hurt you." Bucky protested.

"No. You won't. Not only do we both have the serum, we also have fought like this before. We'll be fine." I said, giving him a look, that said 'Really?'

With a bit more grumbling, Bucky agreed and attacked me by lunging at me. I side stepped him, and looked down at him in disbelief. In response, he swept my legs out from under me with a swipe of his own leg. I fell down, then flipped to stand up and watched him stand up before we went at it again. We ended up with me on top, holding him down, not dissimilar to how I had kidnapped him. Just as I saw Steve walk in out of the corner of my eye, Bucky flipped us over, so I lay under him, as he held a knife he had found at my neck. At which point Steve came barreling in, yelling at Bucky to stop. He then proceeded to peel Bucky off me, and when he went to pin his brunet friend to the wall, I grabbed Steve and pulled him off, getting him to release not only in surprise but also from sheer strength.

"No, it's fine, Steve. Neither of us have been triggered, we can't anymore. Glad to see you too." I said. Steve just looked confused so I explained to him what was up, "It's fine, we're just training to keep from going stagnant. As much as we can usually stay still for hours, we are still too full of nervous energy to do so. Okay?"

"Okay." Steve said, still confused but willing to take my word for it.

"Good." I said, before peeling Bucky off the wall, and making sure he was okay. When I knew he was, I asked, "So, Steve... You said, something earlier about bedrooms?"

"Yeah." Steve said, before leading us to our rooms to shower and change after we had been fighting for the past six hours, but not before mentioning that dinner would be ready in the dining room in fifteen minutes,and that J.A.R.V.I.S. would show us the way.


	6. Violet's Nightmare and What Happened After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read chapter title. Warning: panic attack, and descriptions of death, pain, and possible torture, non-graphic, hopefully. Done with little to no research done on PTSD, except my general knowledge that it fucks with your head and you are triggered by seemingly random incidents and things. Also that despite being de-triggered, they still have PTSD triggers, because there's no way you can convince me that 70 years of brainwashing and torture as well have being an assassin for so many years and all the 'training' that goes into that does not give you PTSD, since that would be majorly traumatizing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VacMNewDCu0
> 
> Song to listen to for this fic rn and especially for this chapter.

Dinner went quietly as did our getting ready for bed. I got a few hours of sleep before I shot up, wide eyed. I stumbled to Bucky's room across the hall and slipped in. Closing the door behind me, I sank down to the floor breathing heavily. Trying to quiet myself so I could hear Bucky, I didn't notice that I had began to mumble in Russian.

"No! Nononono... Don't be dead. No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please! No... No." I mumbled, holding my head in my hands, my breathing quieting slightly, though I was still on the verge of a panic attack. This is where Bucky found me, knees to my chest, face in my hands, trying to breathe.

"What's wrong?" Bucky asked in Russian.

"Your blood was seeping through my hands and you laid in my arms as I tried to hold your blood in, but it just kept bleeding through my fingers. I could feel you dying. It was all my fault. You died, and it's all my fault! I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry!" I replied in Russian. I latched onto Bucky's shirt by this time and had my face on his shoulder, buried in his neck.

Bucky lifted me in his arms and carried me to his bed, wrapping me in his arms so I faced him. My head laid in his chest so I could hear his heartbeat, my breathing calmed. No longer panicking, I calmed down and sank exhausted into his arms. Bucky held me tight, but not letting go no matter what. He understood nightmares, he had them often enough. 

Together we relaxed and fell asleep, there in bed wrapped up together until morning, and for the first time since the ice, nightmare free.

The next morning, we woke up wrapped up in each other with our legs wrapped up and all. We had slept in until 9 am. I was still upset enough my nightmare that I kept ahold of Bucky's hand as he moved to get out of bed. "Please, don't go." I pleaded.

"Shh, It's alright." Bucky soothed as tears started to well in my eyes. The nightmares may not have been there after finding Bucky but they were never far from my mind. Bucky sat down again and gathered me in his arms. "It'll be alright."

"I just need a moment, I think..." I trailed off, unable to say much.

"Remember what Dr. White said? We don't have to get up if it's too much. It's alright to take a moment if yo need to." Bucky said, as I held tight to him, burying my head in his stomach.

"I just don't like that I'm asking you to comfort me when you were the one who recently came back and I'm the one who has had time to adjust." I whined slightly.

"Remember Dr. White said that PTSD takes time. Months or years, not days before you might be able to do more, and that's alright." Bucky said.

I simply nodded. I unburied my head from his stomach and laid it on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. A few minutes later I felt my own heartbeat slow and my breathing start to match. As I fell asleep, I felt Bucky kiss my forehead making my heart clench. I wished he would do that on my lips, or there when he knew I was awake. I berated myself. I couldn't let my feelings get in the way when he didn't feel the same. Or Steve. Better just hope for good dreams and to forget bout the happy life I dreamed about with both of them as mine and I there's so I could move on. But not now. Now I will dream of happier times and hopes that will never come true.

\-----------------------------------Bucky's P.O.V.---------------------------------------------

I kissed her forehead then immediately regretted it. I couldn't take advantage of her like that. Only when she asked... If she ever asked, which wasn't likely. She loved me as a brother as I should love her. But she was so beautiful. When she had stumbled into my room earlier this morning... she had glowed with her tears streaming down her face. She shouldn't ever cry! Even though her tears had a beauty to them like staring at the moon... Her smile took your breath away. It was like pure sunshine. Cliche I know, but true. She had never failed to cheer me up when she smiled. When memories filtered in of the before days, before everything... She always was there to cheer us up when she was in pain herself. She always knew when we had a bad day or needed cheering up and would do her best to make sure we were happier when she was done. She was so perceptive. The least I can do is be there for her as she has been for me. Violet and Steve were my best friends and would always be so. 

I slid out from under her when I was sure she was asleep deep enough that she wouldn't wake up. I would've been happy to stay there forever but unfortunately I had to pee. The army and Hydra had taught me how to keep it in for ages, but willpower only lasted so long. I been holding it in since I had woken up an hour ago and watched her sleep in my arms. I wish we could always wake up like that, maybe with Steve as well wrapped up together with us. Maybe she would come back when she had another nightmare tomorrow. Not that I would ever wish she would have a nightmare! I just... really like her in my arms.

I peed, washed up, then walked into my room to watch her sleep. She needed the sleep, and I think I was hungry. Cheerios sounded like it would be good. Those commercials were good, or maybe some oatmeal. I'd make some for Vi, so she could eat without having to get up out of my bed. Wow, I really want her to say there.

I got to the kitchen after asking J.A.R.V.I.S. for directions. Maybe this J.A.R.V.I.S. could help me with an oatmeal recipe. And where to find the ingredients. Cooking was always an adventure. With a little help I found the packets of oatmeal and started to cook them according to the directions and J.A.R.V.I.S. After managing to not burn anything which was a small miracle in and of itself. Since it was already 9:40, I put the oatmeal in bowls and brought them along with two tall glasses of milk, silverware, and napkins which I had put on tray for Vi and I to share in my room, on my bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wrote itself! Apparently I am going in for the slow burn, major 3 way pining with WinterGhost first then with WinterGhostShield. Hopefully ending with tons of domestic fluff!! Winter=Winter Soldier/Bucky, Ghost=The Ghost/Violet, and Shield=Captain Anerica b/c of his shield.


	7. Pining, Three Way Pining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, all the angst... or as close as I can write to angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell if this makes you sad or makes you cry or want to. Any comments on how to improve my writing emotionally would be greatly appreciated, as well as normal constructive criticism including grammar. Might only be one chapter of pining and then mostly fluff but I don't know...

Carrying the tray back to the room carrying the breakfast dishes of oatmeal, cheerios, and some orange juice I had found as well as two full mugs of coffee, with sugar and creamer. Holding the tray on my left arm, I opened the door with my right as I kept the tray as well as possible and gently lowering it to the dresser. I nudged Violet awake. She sleepily tried to roll away from me, so I ripped the covers away from the bed. "No." She whined as she tried to hide her head under my pillow. "Five more minutes. Work doesn't start for another two hours, I have time, I swear." 

"No work today, but you still have to eat breakfast. Come on, get up." I said, as I pulled away my pillow.

"Wha..." Violet asked in confusion as she sat up and tried to open her eyes. Her adorable bedhead was sticking up everywhere as she rubbed her eyes.

"No work. It's 2018, not 1938. Wake up, you need to eat." I said, grabbing her coffee.

"Oh. Gimme." Vi said as she made grabby hands for the coffee.

I set the coffee in her hands, holding on a little longer than needed as I made sure the mug was safely in her hands. She sipped at the too hot of coffee before carefully opening her eyes to the bright room. I wanted to not only wrap her in blankets and never let her leave my bed but also to kiss her so much that we didn't want to leave. The only thing that could make that daydream any better is if Steve was there with us for the same things. But... that would never happen. Steve had liked Peggy and girls. And Violet was... She saw us as her brothers, not like that. Trying to shake off my daydream that would never come true I went to get the rest of breakfast and set it on her lap as I sat next to her.

"You cooked?" She asked incredulously.

"I had help. Plus, I only made oatmeal and cereal. And coffee. You taught me to me how to make that." I replied.

"Okay, I feel better now." she said as she started to dig into her food.

We ate mostly in silence. If only it could be under different circumstances. Ones where we had woken up in each others arms with Steve where we were in love and had just had sex the night before. Ones where she would stay in my bed because she didn't want to leave, where she wouldn't want to leave me... But that wasn't the reality and I still needed to move on. 

"Thank you, that was surprisingly good." Violet teased as she set her dishes to rights. 

"Yeah, well, you're welcome." I said, shyly. "So, what do you want to do today?"

"Since we are needing to work on decision making, let's both come up with options and then choose between them." Vi said.

"Okay, sounds good. You start." I said.

"Jerk." Violet teased, "I think we should definitely train today, maybe invite Stevie to train with us so all three super-soldiers can work together. Since we all have super strength we need to train with someone who can take it so we can use our full strength. What do you think?" She asked.

"Sounds good." I said.

"Anything else you wanna add?" Vi asked with a little smirk and a nudge.

"No..." I said.

"Well, you said you would add an option so..." She said.

"Right, well, we could eat lunch, will eat lunch." I paused, "Maybe also try and catch up on what we missed by watching a movie? We could invite Stevie since I'm sure he's not really made time to relax knowing him... What do you think?"

"I like it. Let's do that. I also really just don't want to come up with another option and have to make anymore decisions to be honest." Violet said.

"Yeah, me either." I said.

We went out to the kitchen, washed our dishes, dried them, and put them away. After that I asked J.A.R.V.I.S. where Steve was and how to get there. Following the directions he gave us we found Steve camped out in his room, drawing. "Hey, whatcha doing?" I asked.

Stevie's head jerked up and he stuffed his sketchbook under the cushion next to him. "Nothing, just sketching. What do you need?" Stevie asked

"We we're just wondering if you wanted to train with us? Since we all have super-strength we though it might be easier to train with someone as strong as you so we're not afraid of hurting them." Violet asked.

"Sounds good. Let's go!" Stevie stood up and walked with us to the training room. I thought about how nervous he was about what he had been sketching, thought about teasing him, but decided to drop it since I didn't wanna move too fast.

\---------------------------------------------------Steve's P.O.V.---------------------------------------------------------

Bucky and Violet showed up in my bedroom's doorway as I was drawing them, together with me. In the sketch we were wrapped up together in an embrace that could not be misconstrued as platonic since we were definitely naked. As soon as I heard Bucky speak, I looked up and stuffed my sketchbook under the pillow next to me and answered. "Nothing, just sketching. What do you need?" Violet very sweetly asked me to train with them, citing our mutual super-strength as the reason. I agreed needing to spend more time with my two best friends.

We made our way to the training room and decided to start off by pairing off and attacking the other. "Remember no weapons other than your arm, and no shield." Violet said, pointing to first Bucky then to me. Bucky and Violet paired up first and attacked. They worked in perfect sync, seeming to know exactly where the other would be and just how to take me down. Though that last bit didn't surprise me as much since Vi was always good at reading people. No, what surprised me was how well they knew what they needed to do together without saying a word. They were a perfect team with all the time they had spent together in Wakanda. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge them the time needed to be detriggered. They are both so strong despite everything that's happened to them. No, I wasn't begrudging of the time they spent together I just... I missed how close we had been before. Before the war changed everything. Before I lost the two people I had hoped I never would, who I thought would always be there. I always thought that I would be the first to go, when I lost Bucky... I was a mess. Without Hydra to take down and Violet who I thought was at home waiting for us... I would have not lived as long as I had. When I'd woken up and both of them was gone, I just... I wished I had never woken up at all. Now they would probably get together and I would be left alone, again. That's sounds so selfish of me, but I just... I don't know, I just want to grow old with the both of them. Guess that won't happen now. 

After they took me down more times than I wanna count. We switched again, Buck and I against Vi. "Please, I wanna show you two all I learned." She insisted.

"Fine. But don't get hurt." I told her.

"You do that, old man. Now get ready." Vi said. She stood there looking like she wasn't ready yet and said, "Ready when you are." We attacked, both at once, Bucky with his metal arm and I trying roundhouse kick. She grabbed his arm and ducked my leg as she pulled his arm behind his back. She kept ahold of his arm and brought her other arm around put him in a choke hold. Keeping hold of his neck she stepped behind him, keeping him in between her and I. She seemed to have hit a pressure point in his cake making him to go limp in her arms allowing her to pick him up and throw him at me. I caught him, allowing her to distraction to run behind me and to kick me in the crotch making me go down. Once I was there she bopped me on the back of my head which took me out, more or less. "See, not hurt. Are you two okay, though? I tried to only knock you out not cause any permanent damage."

"I'm fine. That just hurt. Bucky has been knocked cold though." I said.

"Sorry. Let's try and wake him up." I said, as I lowered him closer to the ground while keeping him in my arms. I probably would be the only time I could, plus it hid the hard on I had over Vi being a total badass. She was awesome.

Vi stood and leaned over Buck and gently slapped his face. "Hello? Buck? Wanna wake up now?" She asked. Bucky woke up, kinda confused but otherwise fine. "Hey, I'm really sorry for knocking you out. Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." Buck reassured her.

"Good, then let's try standing, alright." I said, having successfully calmed myself. Bucky needed some help but was able to walk on his own after a few steps.

"Good, you got him. Go, make sure he get's to his room alright. I wanna go talk with Tasha. See ya later!" Violet said, as she walked after making sure I had ahold of Buck.

\------------------------------------------------Violet's P.O.V.-------------------------------------------------------------

I went to talk to Natasha about how my situation about liking both boys. Seeing Bucky not moving like that scared me a bit more than I let on. I needed to talk this out. Hiding it was not helping. I asked J.A.R.V.I.S. where she was and found her in her room, cleaning her knives.

"Hey, Tash. You got a few minutes? I need to talk." I asked.

"Sure. Sit down." Tasha said, motioning to a seat on the bed next to her. She packed up her knives and put them aside as she asked, "What's up?"

"It's Steve and Bucky." I sighed and sat down, "I'm in love with both of them and can't give either up. What do I do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably not the right way to wake someone up that's been knocked out, don't do this. Anyone wanna chat about anything on Tumblr feel free to hit me up, @coolvioletmoon. Also anyone wanna to draw the sketch mentioned, please feel free to and to tag me on Tumblr my name is @coolvioletmoon. Or you can name me in it on here or something.
> 
> Please comment on possible ship names, I will be using the best one in the story/notes. These names will include first names, last names, any combination of the two as well as a possible different combination of the WinterGhostShield name or keep that one.


	8. Getting Together, WinterGhostShield edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read the title (spoiler), sorry, I just refuse to write more angst for my boys and girl! They've had 70+ years to pine, I think plus one chapter is enough. Now, on with the fluff!!! Sorry about slightly OOC Natasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible ship names being taken (first, last, combination of, and superhero), please comment!! If you wanna chat or ask about this fic, I'm available here and on Tumblr @coolvioletmoon, and @coolvioletmoonmarvel

_"It's Steve and Bucky." I sighed and sat down, "I'm in love with both of them and can't give either up. What do I do?"_

"Well, since you love both Steve and Bucky, and Steve loves both you and Bucky, and Bucky loves both you and Steve, you three should all get together. See,there's this thing called polyamory. It's where 3 or more people are in a relationship. That is what you three should do." Tasha said.

"Yep, it's not that new of thing, and not widely accepted but with same-sex relationships and marriages not only legal but also happening a lot and living in one of the gayest cities, you three could totally make it work. Normally I would have eased you into this but you guys have been pining over each other for years and I'm tired of the pining even though you have been living here for so little. That and Steve is like a puppy that was just kicked without you two and that's just too sad." Natasha said.

I sat there stunned, thinking over all our interactions. "Huh, I don't believe you about the boys being in love with me and I'm less sure about how they feel about each other besides stronger than family, but otherwise I will totally think on this. Also as I was thinking over our interactions that I can remember from the beginning, I just remembered the mental list of every time Steve has made a stupid decision usually involving him almost dying since the beginning of out involvement in the war and I have to go yell at my best friend for trying to die. Excuse me." I said, standing up and leaving her room. As I closed the door I asked J.A.R.V.I.S. where Steve was. "Where's Steve, J.A.R.V.I.S.?" I asked.

"He is in the common room, Miss Violet." He responded.

"Thank you." I said as I made my way there.

In the common room I caught sight of Steve, started running toward him and yelling, "STEVEN GRANT ROGERS! YOU HAVE A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO!" Steve caught sight of me, yelled, "Fuck!" and started sprinting away from me. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEANT THAT YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO JUMP ON WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS A LIVE GRENADE! DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH? I'LL SHOW YOU A FUCKING DEATH WISH! AND YOU JUMPED OUT OF A PLANE WITHOUT A PARACHUTE INTO ENEMY TERRITORY TO SAVE BUCKY! WHICH I WOULD AND HAVE DONE BUT STILL!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THOUGH IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CRASH A PLANE INTO THE OCEAN INSTEAD OF JUST GIVING PEGGY YOUR COORDINATES, YOU DRAMATIC LITTLE FUCKER? COME HERE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! i'LL RIP YOU A NEW ONE!" As I was yelling this, I ran by Tony getting his morning coffee, Bruce who quickly left, Clint who was dangling from the vent, and Bucky who was just hanging out on the couch and got yelled at by Steve for help. We just passed Bucky who had said, "She's your problem now, punk." I replied to Steve with, "YOU CAN'T JUST DIE LIKE THAT, I LOST YOU BOTH ONCE, I WON'T SURVIVE A SECOND TIME I LOVE YOU TWO TOO MUCH, YOU FUCKER!" A moment after those fateful words left my mouth i realized what I had just said, skidded to a stop, and turned to run the opposite direction. Unfortunately for me, since I was running past Bucky, he just stood up and caught me around the waist as I ran past, stopping me in my tracks.

"Let me go, jerk." I pleaded as I dangled from his metal arm kicking my legs. 

"No, we have to talk about this." Bucky replied.

Steve jogged back toward us. "Did you mean that?"

"What?" I asked, pretending not to know what he was talking about even though I knew full well. 

"That you love us?" Bucky asked quietly.

I stopped struggling, hanging limply from his arm with my head down, I replied softly, "Yeah, have since forever. Just thought I was your little sister and not dating material."

"That's not true, doll." Bucky said.

"You're forever material, doll face." Steve said.

"Oh." I said, head still down.

"Come on." Bucky said, as he carried me to the couch, sitting me in his lap and holding me tight. Steve sat next to Bucky. "Look at us, doll." Bucky pleaded.

I looked up into his soulful eyes and sighed, dropping my eyes. Bucky nudged my head up before letting me drop it again when I refused to meet his eyes.

"Where do we go from here?" Steve asked.

"Tash mentioned something called polyamory that is a relationship between 3 people. She says we should be in one. In case, that's what you mean." I said.

"Good. Because I'm never letting you two go ever again." Steve said.

"I agree." Bucky said.

"Good, now that we have that down, what are we doing about it?" I asked.

"If you two would allow me, I would like to kiss you." Steve said.

"Yes." I said, looking up. "Bucky first."

Steve nodded and leaned toward Bucky and gently pressed their lips together. Bucky let out a small whimper and leaned into the kiss. They moved so they were at a better angle and Steve lifted his hand and put it on Bucky's face, holding it tenderly.

After a few moments I cleared my throat making them come up for air. They rested their foreheads together, before Steve smiling turned toward me and asked, "Ready?" I nodded, we leaned in and Steve kissed me. I had been kissed and kissed others before, usually undercover and a few others beforehand for practice. But on one could have prepared me for kissing Steve. It might have been my first kiss, but it felt like a first kiss should, with emotion and love and longing finally quenched. Of people who had something missing which now was found and in place.

After a few moments we stopped and turned to Bucky smiling. "Can I kiss you?" I asked. Bucky nodded. we leaned in and I pressed my lips to his. It was like my kiss with Steve but at the same time totally different. Richer, and a little scratchy since Bucky hadn't shaved yet, while Steve had. Yet the completeness was there, the rightness. We also, sadly, had to stop kissing. The three of us sat there grinning at each other. Occasional kisses being exchanged not just on the lips but on the neck and head and wherever else we could reach. Content, I sat there in Bucky's lap, and leaning against Steve's arm.


	9. Lead up to their threesome and the aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT!! (Not really but it is mentioned and possibly will be detailed description next chapter) Avoid this chapter if you wish to avoid... this... that was eloquent (sarcasm). 
> 
> In other news, What happens when Violet and Bucky manage to distract Steve long enough to finally get a look at Steve's sketchbook? (Well, I tell you in the title, but still...) You didn't think Steve hiding what he was doing was just there for no reason, did you? ;) (Well, it was until this popped into my head...)

Later (the next day about 10am), Bucky and I were in the training room fighting, when I asked, "What do you think was in whatever Steve hid from us, when we went in his room?"

"I don't know, want to go look?" Bucky asked.

I nodded and off we snuck to Steve's room to find what he has been hiding. It was a sketchbook! "Yes!" I exclaimed.

Just as I was about to open it, in walked Steve! "Quick, distract him!" I yelled at Bucky as I ran out the other door.

Steve ran after me yelling, "Come back here, you little fucker!"

"Never!" I yelled as I ran away. Steve cornered me and snatched the sketchbook from my hands. Just as I was about to retaliate... Bucky leaped into the air and tackled him to the ground! 

"Ha!" I exclaimed as I pried the sketchbook from his hands, "Let's see what you have." I said as I opened to find... Dirty sketches of the three of us in very compromising positions. I quickly flipped through it and picked a favourite which I showed Bucky.

"Ooh! I want to try that!" Bucky said.

"You're not grossed out?" Steve asked.

"No way! The only reason we never jumped you before, besides your two's asthma, was that we didn't know how you felt! But now that we do..." 

"Now with the sex!" I shouted, interrupting Bucky.

"What she said." Bucky said with a smirk, helping Steve to his feet.

"My room. Now." Steve commanded. "And bring the sketchbook," he said as I was about to drop it, "I have some ideas I want to show you."

Bucky and I hurried after him as we all made our way to our floor. In Steve's room Steve turned around and stalked toward Bucky and I.

\--------------------- The next day, about 10am----------------

We lay in Steve's bed, all completely naked having kicked the sheets and covers off the bed from the body heated generated between all three super soldiers. We hadn't gotten dressed after our last shower before we crawled into bed and slept like the dead. 

"I'm pretty sure we just had sex every single way possible and a few that aren't! I sure learned new ways to have sex! What did you do, scour the Internet for every possible kink and sex position?!" Bucky asked.

"I don't know about Steve, but I did! As soon as I could operate the thing, I researched, everything!" I replied.

"I might have... There was only so much that the USO girls could teach me. And it's not like we had a lot of information back then about sex, except that really awkward conversation I had with my mom about safe sex." Steve replied.

"I remember that conversation kinda, I think I had it with your mom Steve, though Bucky's mom might have also given it to me..."

"I'm hungry." Bucky announced.

"Get up, get dressed, you two and I'll join," Steve said at the side eye I gave him. "We haven't eaten, except for the snacks we had hidden in our rooms, since," Steve looked at his phone, "Yesterday morning! No wonder we're all so hungry! Get up, let's eat!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos welcome and appreciated. Also, first time writing smut-like things, so constructive criticism would be loved!!! Sorry this took so long, was going to write smut then realised that I couldn't even though I've never tried and so I didn't... But I am updating! So yay!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think and if I should write more. Also tell me about grammar and any other errors I make so they can be changed. Beta reader needed, someone to read this and my other Marvel fics over and give them some constructive criticism.


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